The people that are in the know about Video Games know this man for his ability to make one game and cancel it’s sequel or his ability to spew liquid diarrhea from his mouth and some how translate it to his fingertips which then spills over on to twitter.
Personally I think he has been infected by some sort of weird hair growing parasite that has taken over his mind. Most can agree, that at some point down the line, he lost his god damn mind and to that end and here are 10 photos that prove it was a Douchey Hair Growing Parasite in chronological order.
10. The Parasite has infected Phil(Patient Zero), and he attempts to take his own life to prevent the spread, but he only has an Nintendo Zapper at hand. The audience think is trying to be edgy. Most disregard this as modern day hipsterism.
9. Parasite quickly spreads, causing suspicion. Parasite panics leading it small verbally abusive out bursts at people how are starting to suspect he has been infected by something.
8. Quickly cleans up facial hair in order to negate suspicion, leading people to think “He was just in a phase.” Parasite switches to grafting to the hair on Patient Zero head.
7. Parasite learns that “fans” will throw off any suspicion of the infection, calling him brilliant and misunderstood. Brings extreme relief and joy to the Parasite. Starts to graft to facial hair again. Slower this time, as to not arise suspicions.
6. Parasite slips subliminal message into it’s first test group, eager, The Parasite enjoys the experience to much, causes Patient Zero to ejaculate into his hand after thinking about what an amazing job it has done.
5. Parasite is wary of “3D” glasses given to it once it realizes that could potentially expose its rampant infection of Patient Zero. Thinks about cutting back hair to blend in with standards of normal humans just in case.
4. After cleaning up Patient Zero, the parasite goes to check up on his first test group, finds suitable host to infect, but then realizes the box with the flashing light has been recording images. Feeling exposed, the Parasite pushes forward with phase 2 growth to spread infection.
- Parasite, feeling presser about being exposed, moves graphed hairs from Patient Zero’s pubic region to Patient Zero’s face in order to advance infection in hosts around Patient Zero. From this we learn that there are 3 main grafted spore ejection sites. Parasite most likely used its front spore ejection site when it felt threatened. Infected victim is still unknown.
- Parasite temporarily losses control of Patient Zero’s motor skills. Parasite goes into hiding. Cancels all projects until able to function and act as a normal human. May have reverted to using Patient Zero’s colon to absorb nutrients as motor skills in face are completely lost at this time.
1. Regaining Control of Patient Zero’s motor functions, the parasite debates weather or not it will start trying to infect more hosts to control the human race in the coming future, or let the public forget about itself and secure his safety unless one of his spore kindred are attacked.
O god what have you all done! You have doomed us all!